Burn out, Creativity and Rest

and finding a way to show up anyway

I have a lot of client paintings that I am working through- and this is one- I love the monochrome and it’s finally starting to come together in away that feels good

At the end of 2023 I was exhausted, as we all tend to be as we storm through the holidays and holiday parties, the social engagements that never seem to end and finally sit down to take a deep breath. I thought I was tired just from the normal things, but then my exhaustion just kept going, the only things bringing me joy were my workouts and watching basketball (and of course my family and my pets etc, don’t let me fool you with my mellow drama) but I was not finding joy in my art making. I just truly had zero desire to sit down and make things. I also felt I didn’t even know where to begin with some of the things I actually needed to sit down and make. I had (still have) custom paintings to make, shows to prep, and paid commercial work to get through alongside teaching.

Having done this creative life for a decent amount of time it became clear to me that I was burnt out- perhaps to a lesser degree than I have been in the past. I thought back to 2023 and I realized, I didn’t really take a ton of breaks and I needed to find a way to show up anyway.

One thing about art is, nobody is going to show up and do the work to make it for you. You might have people excited about what you make, you may even have people hire you to make things- but only you can actually make it.

So I thought I would detail a few things that have helped me over the last 6 weeks to get back into the swing of things.

making space for personal work creates new excitement for my work work- and feeds the ideas and joy I have with custom and client work.

Part 1: Rest and work go hand in hand

It was clear I needed rest but I also need to work- so the question became how do I do this work while also making space for rest? How do I make creative work when my burnout has made it really hard for creativity to happen easily for me.

If I had the ability to take time to rest and not make creative work- awesome- but that isn’t my reality. So I tried to make space for both rest and showing up when I really don’t feel like it. What does that mean?

First I got clear on what rest means for me:

being outside

going for a walk

reading a book

going for a swim

getting to bed early

drinking water

taking a hot shower

watching basketball

having a laugh with a good friend

visiting a bookstore

watching a documentary

flipping through a favorite art book.

Part 2: Get rid of things that aren’t work and aren’t rest (in moderation)

Once I got clear on what rest is- it became clear when I avoid rest!

Avoid rest?! Who would do that? Well, my fellow earthlings, I do that. I love to make up new things that I have to do, I LOVE (it seems).

So I decided- no NEW personal projects. I need to use the damn groceries I have first before buying new ones. You know that feeling when you have a new idea for a project or painting and it feels shiny and amazing? THAT is a distraction. Whenever I have an urge for that- I write it down on a piece of paper and tape it up- so it’s there for me when I complete the things I already committed myself to. It isn’t going anywhere, and if I still want to do it- awesome.

Beyond that, it seems that I love to stare at my phone and feel even more drained when I am burnt out. We live in a sick and twisted world where distractions are rampant! haha. But really, I like to check in with myself when I have downtime, or even when I pick up a new project or task- is this activity making me feel more tired? Is this project a distraction to avoid the real things I already committed myself to? Making me compare myself to others? Making me feel even more frustrated? Is this digging myself into a deeper hole of bullshit? If it is, it’s likely not rest and it’s likely not worth my time.

Part 3: SLOW down and simplify

When I am feeling good I often try to do several tasks in a day- work on several paintings, tackle admin and teaching tasks. All in one day. That is how I have worked best in the past- I like multitasking and I like having several things going on at once- but in January I stopped that.

Instead, I have been trying to really spend time with each thing I am doing. At the start of the week I make a big list of all the things I would like to accomplish for the week- everything from sending a particular email to adding details to the fur on a painting. Then I get clear on two things: what is most urgent AND which things I am dreading.

Once I have my list of urgent and dreaded tasks- I choose 2 for the day that I will focus on- and I always include a dreaded task.

I physically put my phone away.

I sometimes have to turn off the audio book or podcast I am listening to in order to focus.

I usually like to start with my most dreaded task and (stay with me) I think of myself as a hiker with a machette. I am chopping shit down to get through the forest of burnout and find the path again. I truly picture this. Once I tackle the first task- I give myself a small break, and then move onto the second one.

What I have realized is this- the hardest part is sitting down and doing the thing.

Once I get myself to do that- it becomes much easier to get into a flow. I often wind up completing more than 2 things for the day- but my expectations are 2. So if on a really difficult day I only get to 2- its cool, I actually won for the day. Some days those two things take me all day, other days I get five things done before my noon dogwalk.

After a few weeks of this I started to feel myself have an urge to make things for fun- so I began making space for that- for personal projects along side the things I needed to do. I find it’s easiest for me to pick up halfway finished paintings and complete those when I feel this way. It gives me a sense of accomplishment while also reminding me that I have cool ideas and I make cool things, what a relief!

Slowly but surely this all begins to make space for getting back on the path again- before I knew it, the hard seemingly impossible tasks for me were out of the way (and not really that hard) and the other tasks started to feel fun. It’s Feb. 26th and I am starting to feel more like myself- AND I have new tools for incorporating rest more sustainably into my routine.

Why do I share this? Because this is how I build trust with myself to show up even when I don’t want to. This is how I maintain trust with myself to get things done even when I don’t feel motivated.

Burn out is real, please know I am an advocate for taking care of yourself and burnout isn’t the same each time we experience it- your burn out is likely not the same as mine and most likely our life circumstances are different. That said, regardless, most creative work isn’t easy to show up for, especially when I am tired and especially when I am having to work through problems in it. In fact, it is really, really hard to show up for, even when we love it. Making creative things alongside real adult life- illness, caretaking, paying bills, maintaining relationships, starting jobs, building new habits etc is hard. One of the best things I can do for myself, is to build habits of showing up anyway.

Waiting for motivation and inspiration is tough, because those things are fleeting. In my experience, I have to find a way to show up without those things, to remind myself there is joy in the process, in the problem solving and to find a sustainable way to show up for my work and myself. A large part of my job as a creative person- is protecting my down time, my rest and my ability to show up tomorrow.

So hopefully, this inspires you to show up- and to also pay attention to how you use your downtime and refuel yourself. We need your work in the world!

Warmly,

Lindsay