I am writing this to you up in sunny Healdsburg- it was dumping rain when I first arrived but the clouds have let up a bit and the last week has been sunny and gorgeous, if a little cold in the mornings.
I set a goal for myself last year that I would apply to as many art residencies as I have energy for- so I started applying to about 1-2 a month, I also tended to keep them fairly local… and I have been rejected from every single one! This is normal. Rejection is a huge part of creative work. In the case of this residency at Chalk Hill- they texted me about 6 weeks ago to say one of their artists couldn’t come and offered it to me since apparently I just missed the cut! I said yes, of course, I am not too proud and am just so thrilled for the opportunity.
Two weeks is super fast- but it’s also what I have capacity for during the semester and last minute. I couldn’t take off several classes from teaching and this happened to fall between sessions of my self run courses. Part of me still had a weird feeling as I left to come up the first day, like I had forgotten to turn off the stove or something- but I think what I realized is I was uncomfortable unteathering myself from the guilt of obligations, often self made obligations- but obligations that get in the way of me making my work uninterrupted.
I arrived in the rain, Trudes and I got settled in quickly and set up all my work and materials. This residency offers a place to stay alongside a place to work- and the place to stay is an old 1920’s farm house with a kitchen and tons of art and art books. It is really cute but I would be lying if I didn’t say I struggled a bit with sleeping in a big old house alone in the middle of the country. I camp alone, I love staying at my family cabin alone- but this has felt hard for some reason.
Aside from that, being up here in the quiet, waking up with the sunrise and walking first thing with trudi before sitting down to write and sketch before 8am has been magic. I love making a big pot of coffee and painting in the morning and realizing it’s time for a walk break because Trudi has become restless and realizing it’s been hours. I knew I wanted more of this and that is why I have been applying to these- but being here has really confirmed that for me. I have a whole series of paintings that I can’t wait to bring to life.
I have a show I am doing in November- they just sent me the specs for the gallery a few weeks ago and my initial thoughts were that I have no idea how to fill the space. Having this time and space to focus on my work has shifted that for me- now I feel really confident and I can envision all the paintings for the show.
I thought for a long time about what I wanted to work on while I am up here and I really wanted to use the large canvases I have and use the space to get back into an oil painting practice. I have tried over the last year to work large with acrylics and it just hasn’t been hitting the mark for me on a few levels. I think I prefer acrylic gouache when I use acrylics but using acrylic gouache at the scale I want to is just not feasable. I also find that I really want to push myself to be less controlled with my painting- and acrylic feels really tight for me. I kept circling back to “what if I try oils?” and this residency felt like the perfect time to really spend a concentrated amount of time problem solving and finding how I want to use them.
So I brought my canvases- likely more than I will get to- but I have three large ones currently in progess and that feels really good. I also busted out my oils and mediums and stopped at the art store for a few things I needed. I dragged along some watercolor and gouache so I could work on paper if I needed a break or if the oils weren’t working out.
I also had some ideas for the images I wanted to work on already in my sketchbook and things I had tested over the last few months in tiny studies etc. So I didn’t feel like I was starting from scratch in the idea/composition department, in fact I have been wanting to bring these to life for awhile and this felt like the perfect time.
I haven’t used oils in over a decade but as soon as I started using them I knew I had made the right choice. The way the paint feels on the canvas is huge for me- the way I can mix colors wet into wet without rushing to achieve that texture before it dries, the luminosity, all of it. It just feels really right.
The last time I used oils I used a combo of gamsol, linseed and galkyd for my medium- which helped speed the dry time and the combo of the mediums and that I painted on wood panels resulted in almost an enamel like texture of the paint. It was also very glossy- which I didn’t mind too much at the time.
For these paintings I am using canvas- some of them I have hand stretched and instead of trying to force dry time I am instead using cold wax medium and gamsol as my medium- the cold wax medium cures in a day or two and when the gamsol evaporates it leaves a really soft matte texture. The cold wax also allows the paint to have a more tacky feel to it while it’s still wet, allowing the brush strokes to show up.
All of this has been a really nice reminder for why taking time to reset habits and reset what we give energy to is so important. The time is there, it’s just about how it gets used. I was finding myself easily distracted and also overwhelmed the last few months- this residency really highlighted for me that having an art practice requires showing up and making the work. It’s not glamorous, it’s not even easy, and I know it’s a lot easier to do it while I am up here.
I love that I gave myself the gift of showing up and it started with applying to this residency last august. It required me setting the time aside, making plans with fellow teachers, arranging things with Dave and prepping a lot of my work for travel. I could have easily not applied, or not said yes when it presented itself and I felt overwhelmed at the suddenness of it. Instead I dove in and It’s a nice reminder that the actions I take today will affect things for me that I can’t fully envision, sometimes months or years from now. We are constantly laying the foundation for the things that are important to us- positively and negatively!
There is always a reason not to, a reason to say no. Within reason, I am going to try to say yes to myself more, to remind myself that the things I do today lay the groundwork for tomorrow. I want that groundwork to hold more vulnerability and painting, more exploration, more doing things that scare me and make me uncomfortable.
Monday I have a studio visit with some local artists and their teachers and Saturday April 13th is the Open Studios from 1-4pm which will be open to the public at Warnecke Ranch (Chalk Hill Residency). If you are around, come by! I will share some more thoughts once all this is over, but so far, I am just feeling super grateful.
Upcoming Workshops
I have a few upcoming workshops which I will list below, if they interest you and you have questions, let me know! I would love to talk to you about them.
In 2020 I started asking myself how I could impart knowledge of materials or process while also making space for something unexpected. I created Yellow Brick Road- a 5 week class focused on bringing your ideas to life with a painting (or whatever medium you are excited about). You can learn more about YBR here.
After teaching over a hundred Yellow Brick Road students, I found I was being asked for another class but this time focused on fostering a practice. So I created Night Class (a class that isn’t always at night) which you can learn more about here.
Other Links
Check out my work HERE
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I've never thought to do an underpainting coat before! I'll have to try that, I work with both watercolor and gouache a lot. That orange is all sorts of yummy on that painting.
So fun seeing all of these and reading about how restorative some time away can be ❤️ loving that glowing orange too!